Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I died a long time ago.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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