I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
