And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
