My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
