Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
