she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
two words...techno handjob
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize