I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
But break dance skills will only take you so far
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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