im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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