All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
