I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's shark week go big or go home
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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