i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
