I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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