If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
