this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize