she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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