As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
