he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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