dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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