Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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