Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
