? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
