So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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