idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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