You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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