And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
