____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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