Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
