What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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