What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
