god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The adults are the big ones right?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
