Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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