An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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