Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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