false alarm. still invincible.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
