Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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