im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
