That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
