there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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