i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i wish my penis had a tongue
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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