you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
