My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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