I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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