So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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