No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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