now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
