so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
