considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
