mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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