He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
