Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize