Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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