how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
