Do you still have your period?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
