Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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