I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
