i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
