sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
