I'm going to jail i love you
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
