I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
