Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
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