I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
