my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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