I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Vodka?
Forever.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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