peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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