My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
