He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
