god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize