I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
