My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
