I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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