Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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