her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
