i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
