batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Houston, we have a blender
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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