I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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