you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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