Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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