He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
