btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He has the fingertips of a God
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
