do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
