More tranny stories later!
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize