smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
babies were throwing up all over the place
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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