i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize